In honor of Modern Love’s 20th anniversarystarbet777, we asked a dozen essayists to write a letter to the person they were when they published their essays.
We wanted to know: What would you say to that younger version of yourself? How has your life, and the way you think about your experience, changed since your story was featured in Modern Love? What have you learned, realized or perhaps reconsidered in the intervening years?
Letters to My Younger Self‘The Name That Has Always Felt to You Like Home’By Alex Marzano-Lesnevich
‘Protect Yourself From Peril’By Theo Pauline Nestor
‘Bro, Sam Married Us. Deadass.’By Andrew Limbong
‘What We Lost Cannot Be Recovered’By Amy Seek
‘Love, Before Will, Was Always in English’By Ross Showalter
‘You Thought You Had Failed’By Larry Smith
‘I Remain a Hopeless Romantic’By Elizabeth Chang
‘Quit Hating Yourself for Failing to Repair Your Son’By Joe Blair
‘Is That How We Survived?’By Asha Bandele
‘You Still Have a Home in Fernando’s Heart’By Julissa Arce
‘Badass, Bipartisan Love’By Renee Folzenlogen
‘I Wasn’t the Right Person to Write This Essay’By Haili Blassingame
‘The Name That Has Always Felt to You Like Home’By Alex Marzano-Lesnevich
In 2011, Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, who uses “they/them” pronouns, wrote about adopting a python named Pretzel while wresting with their sexuality. When both Pretzel and the desire to date women become too large to deny, Alex gave the snake away and broke up with their boyfriend. Today, much has changed in Alex’s life (though one thing has remained the same).
Dear Alex,
Biggest update first: You came out as trans.
I know that’s terrifying to hear. It’s your biggest fear. When you realized at 8 years old that you weren’t actually a girl, you also decided that no one would ever know.
20 Years of Modern LoveSeven Ways to Love Better
Stories That Changed Lives
Words of Wisdom
Illustrating Modern Love
Letters to My Younger Self
Where Did Modern Love Come From?
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